It is truly a struggle, conviction by the Holy Spirit has lead me to write the following…
I am ashamed; I do not do everything in love.
My anger gets the better of me.
But what is the better of me?
If I act out of the love of God,
Is there any good in me?
Certainly not!
For goodness out of God, “goodness” where there is no Him, is like filthy rags.
And more so, whatever I have but lack love, I am nothing.
I hate you sin, your haughtiness, your selfish ways
For you are not of God and lead me astray.
Leave me sin, let me reside with my God, let me be to follow His ways.
For in my sweet God, my wonderful Jesus alone will I dwell in safety.
In this moment of remorse, I consider:
Romans 7: 14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
Psalm 51: 7 Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
9 Hide your face from my sins
and blot out all my iniquity.